"Rice crispy" treats

One of my families favorite desserts is rice crispy treats. I think we could all eat an entire pan in one sitting. I decided to clean up our favorite treat and came up with these little healthy treats that taste delicious! 

Ingredients:

-2 cups puffed rice

-1 cup of whatever crushed raw nuts you'd like ( I used walnuts and sunflower seeds)

-1/2 cup brown rice syrup

-1/2 cup sunflower seed butter ( you could also use almond butter)

1. Mix the brown rice syrup and nut butter in a small sauce pan over medium heat.

2. While that's on the stove top mix together the puffed rice and nuts in a bowl.

3. Once the nut butter mixture starts to bubble pour it over the puffed rice and nuts and stir until well combined. 

4. Now you can either put the mixture in a small pan or like I did,

put it into muffin tins to make indivuidual treats. Make sure to spray the pan with non stick cooking spray! 

5. Pop in the refrigerator for about 30 minutes or until they're cool. Enjoy! 

Paleo lemon blueberry scones

I've been a little obsessed with scones lately and wanted to make some that were both gluten and dairy free. They didn't turn out half bad.... 

Ingredients 

-2 cups almond flour

-1 cup tapioca flour

-1 tsp baking soda

-pinch of sea salt

-zest of a lemon

-2 eggs

-2 TBSP pure maple syrup

-juice from a lemon

-3/4 cup blueberries

1. Pre-heat oven to 325 degrees

2. Mix together the almond flour, tapioca flour, baking soda, salt and lemon zest.

3. Add in the eggs, maple syrup and lemon juice and mix until well combined.

4. Gently stir in the blueberries.

5. Cover the baking sheet with parchment paper and place about 8 large spoonful of dough onto the sheet. 

6. Put in the oven for about 18-20 minutes of until the tops are golden brown. 

Protein Smoothie Bowl

I usually don't do smoothies a lot because I honestly hate cleaning out the food processor when I'm done... But I was craving something sweet for breakfast so fruit with almond and cocoa nibs sounded delightful. 

Ingredients

-1/3 cup frozen raspberries

-1/2 cup frozen peaches

-1/2 packet of egg white vanilla protein powder

-1 cup organic green juice

Toppings: more fruit, cocoa nibs, nuts, ect. 

1. Put everything in the food processor or blender and combine until smooth. I put mine in a bowl because I love my smoothies thick but you could add more juice and drink it out of a cup as well. Add toppings and enjoy! 

Game Changer

Who knew that something that I loved so much would turn out to be my worst nightmare. Ever since I could walk I danced. My mom specifically put my in ballet because she said I was such a crazy child and ballet would teach me discipline and how to listen. My entire life revolved around ballet. What I ate, how much I worked out, what I did in my free time and how much I could socialize all circled around dance. I even moved away from home my junior year to further my training. I loved it and knew that I could become the ballerina I wanted to be. My mind was set on my goal and nothing would stop me from reaching it, except of course myself.

 This year was a HUGE game changer in my life. I started to doubt every move I made and the environment at the studio was not a supportive one. The dreadful long hours of standing around and endless classes was really taking a tole on my mental and physical health. I started to (dare I say it...) HATE ballet. I dreaded coming in everyday to take class. I had terrible anxiety and would cry all the time. The teachers were thoughtless as they went on their own business teaching the same classes day in and day out. I felt like a robot just putting myself in auto pilot as their words went in one ear and out the other.

 With audition season brought a whole new mess of problems, constantly worrying about what the future held. Acceptance letters brought happiness but the rejections hit me hard. I knew I had been slacking in class but not enough to not get accepted to places I had in past years gotten scholarships to. I was disappointed in myself and was stuck in a very dark hole that seemed to be getting deeper by the second. I questioned if this is really what I wanted anymore. A ballerinas life is filled with uncertainty but could I handle that? Could I handle moving from city to city for the next 5-10 years? No company position is ever garanteed for more than 36 week and the thought of not knowing what I would do to make ends meet terrified me. That's when I decided that this is not what I wanted to do anymore. This was not m dream like it had been for so many years. 

I am quitting ballet. As hard as it is for me to say it, I have new dreams and new passions that I want to discover. My love for nutritious food and healthy living has sparked a new light in me. It's something that makes me happy and right now I'll jump on any train that's going to lead me to my happiest self. I will always have a great love for ballet and the arts but for right now it's making me miserable and that is why I have to give it up. 

Healthy Peanut Butter Cups

yup! you heard that right... healthy peanut butter cups! i of course like anything chocolate and these definitely satisfy my sweet tooth without the guilt.

Ingredients:
-4 TBSP coconut oil
-1/4 raw cocoa powder
-1/2 cup natural peanut butter
-1 tsp vanilla extract
-2 1/2 TBSP coconut sugar

1. in a small sauce pan melt the coconut oil over low heat. once melted add in the rest of the ingredients and stir until everything is mixed together.

2. put cupcake liners into a muffin tin and evenly distribute the mixture into about 8 of the muffin tins.

3. put in the freezer for 30 minutes or until the chocolate if firm.

4. keep the peanut butter in the fridge so the coconut oil doesn't melt again.

5. ENJOY!!

Kale Chips

I do not like the taste of kale at all... so when my friend had made kale chips i was very reluctant to try them. to my surprise i really liked them and the best part is there super easy to made and a great healthy replacement to regular chips. It's low in calories, high in iron and vitamin A, C, K and calcium. It's also full of powerful antioxidants and  is a great anti-inflammatory food. The benefits of this leaf are amazing!

Ingredients:
-one bunch of kale
-olive oil
-sea salt

1. clean and cut the stems from the leaf of the kale

2. dry off the kale and place on a baking sheet. i have an olive oil mister so i used that to cover the kale but if you don't have one just pour a little olive oil on the sheet and mix the kale until its completely covered. top with sea salt or any other spice you'd like.

3. place in the oven at 350 degree for 15-20 minutes or until the kale is crisp.

4.store in an airtight container.

Cinnamon Roll Baked Oatmeal

I LOVE oatmeal almost as much as i love coffee and ballet. when i became gluten- free i was relieved to know that they made gluten free oats but since id been so use to packets of oatmeal i had to find ways to create a yummy breakfast without the convenience of Quaker.

Ingredients:
-1/2 cup gluten free quick oats
-1/4 cup applesauce (you could also use 1/2 a ripe banana or 1/4 cup pumpkin)
-1/4 cup of almond milk
-1/2 tsp cinnamon
-1 1/2 TBSP brown sugar (or you could use coconut sugar, stevia or pure maple syrup)
-1/4 tsp of vanilla extract
-optional: raisins, walnuts, chocolate chips, ect...)

1. pre-heat the oven to 375 degrees

2. mix all the ingredients in a small bowl. grease a ramekin baking dish or a small loaf pan and pour the oatmeal into the dish.

3. bake for 15-20 minutes or until the top is golden brown.

4. top with almond butter, brown sugar, maple syrup or chocolate chips and enjoy!

Re-inventing Myself

After my parents found out about my panic attack they were both very understanding and wanted to help in the best way they could. to be honest i was actually very surprised they responded that well to what had happened. we all decided that right now the best thing for me to do is to research ways to calm myself down and figure out what sets me off. so for the next few months ill update on how things are going.

Raw Cherry Brownies

I LOVE brownies! Well i love any dessert actually (except for cake... i don't like cake) and wanted to try a raw dessert recipe. this way I can have a delicious dessert and not feel guilty about it. 

Ingredients:

-1 cup raw almonds

-3 TBSP cocoa powder

-pinch of sea salt

-4 medjool dates 

-1/4 cup of dried cherries

-1 TBSP water

1. Put the almonds, cocoa powder and sea salt in a food processor and mix till finely ground. Do not over process because then you will have almond butter.

2. Cut and pit the dates and add them and the dried cherries to the food processor and process for about 60 seconds.

3. Add in the TBSP of water slowly and mix.

4. Place in the freezer for 30 minutes.

5. Roll out the dough on parchment paper about 1/2 inch thick and cut out shapes with little cookie cutters.

6. Keep the brownies in an air tight container and in the fridge.

Turkey Meatloaf Muffins

As many people know, I LOVE to cook. when im not dancing im either cooking/baking or on pinterest looking for something new to cook or bake. while in the kitchen i feel invincible. its all up to me on what i want to add or substitute items to improve the recipe or make it healthier. i came up with these after craving my moms meat loaf (i know its kind of a weird thing to crave).

Ingredients:
-1-2 pounds of organic free range ground turkey or grass-fed beef
-1 egg
-1/3 cup chopped onion
-1/3 cup chopped red pepper
-1/2 tsp oregano
-salt and pepper
-2 cloves of garlic

1. Pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees.

2. Mix all ingredients in a large bowl. It's as simple as that.

3. spray a muffin tin with non-stick cooking spray and fill with the turkey mixture.

4. put in the oven and bake for about 25-30 minutes or until the muffins are cooked thoroughly.

You can either top with ketchup or simple eat plain. Keep left overs in the fridge and re-heat in the microwave.

"You're Not Alone."

Tonight I called one of my favorite people in the entire world. She is just so beautiful inside and out and treats me like her own daughter. She's always there for me in my shining moments or when i need a shoulder to cry on. That's why i knew that calling her about my panic attack would be the best start to finding the help i need. She has dealt with anxiety for a while, so when i came to her with what i had been dealing for the past month she knew exactly what to say. She told me that I was not alone and that so many people have anxiety problems. Teenagers in particular have enormous amounts of pressure put on them to excel at everything and that one little mistake could cost you your future.
 I have been so scared to tell my parents about my anxiety attack because i don't want to disappoint them. I didn't want to admit that i needed help. I wanted to prove to them that i could handle all the stress and pressure put on me and that I, myself could land a job. All I want is to show them that all the time and money that they have invested into my dancing was going to pay off and that i could make it on my own.
 I am very independent. Living on my own and creating a future based purely on my choices is something i had been dreaming of for years now but after being on my own i've realized, I do still need help from my parents. Thankfully, my family friend is going to explain to my parents what is going on and hopefully I can find someone to talk to where i am living currently and calm my anxiety so i can get back to being myself again.

Stress

As most dancers know, right now is a very stressful time for all of us. Its audition season which means how we do in our auditions effects what our future is, at least for the next year. Every audition comes with stress and anxiety, to have better technique than the girl standing next to you and hopefully impress the teacher enough to give you a shot at a contract for the next year instead of them. Because of all this stress i had been on edge and very anxious for a while. I had been very snappy with my friends and family and would constantly be moving to try and distract myself. Nothing was working and i couldn't calm myself down.
One night i was sitting in my friends place by myself and had a complete melt down which turned into an anxiety attack. Now, I've had small attacks like this before. Shortness of breathe, elevated pulse, and fear but a few nights ago was something i had never experienced before in my life. My heart was racing, i was shaking like crazy, i couldn't feel my hands and they wouldn't move. My vision started getting blurry and i was light headed. Luckily my friends came to help. One called 911 and when they arrived they gave me oxygen and took my vitals. I was scared out of my mind and had no idea what was happening to me. The EMT asked me if i had any extra stress going on in my life and my friend and I looked at each other and chuckled a little because stress would be an understatement....
Stress is a natural thing in everyone's life and a little stress is good. It can push you to get that paper done that you've been putting off or push you to work harder so you get the company contract but too much stress can push you over the edge, like mine did. Everyday i've been trying to use techniques to slow my breathing and rid myself of the extra stress. Im trying to find my "happy place" and stay there as long as possible. Easy meditation and yoga is now a regular for me before I go to bed because i know if i don't do these things ill have another attack.

All it takes is 10 minutes a night to center yourself and make daily life so much easier. Don't let yourself get to the point i was at. Im much better now than i was a few days ago but i know i could easily slip back into worry and fear.

Gluten Free Pancakes

These pancakes are absolutely DELICIOUS and super easy to make. Its basically just like oatmeal but in a pancake form.

Ingredients
-1/4 cup gluten free oats
-2 egg whites
-1/2 a very ripe banana
-1/4 tsp baking powder
-1 packet of sweetener
-pinch of salt
-1/4 tsp cinnamon
-1 TBSP almond milk

1. mash the banana and mix with all other ingredients

2. grease a pan and cook on medium heat.

3. the entire recipe should make about 3 small pancakes.

4. top with peanut butter, pure maple syrup or fruit

My Go To...

Sweet potatoes are one of my favorite foods and for a good reason too. Not only do they taste delicious but they can be made sweet or savory depending on what you add to them. Also, the health benefits are endless! They contain essential vitamins like B6, C and D as well as magnesium and iron. These little babies are my go to when I get home and need something quick to eat and they also pack well for a long day at dance. Just wash and dry the potato, put a few slits in the side and pop it in the microwave for about 5-6 minutes for a small and 9-10 for a large flipping it half way through. Cut it open and top with things like coconut sugar, pure maple syrup, cinnamon and pecans, a spoonful of peanut butter or simply by itself. 

Chickpea, Barley and Zucchini Salad

I was a little hesitant about creating this recipe at first because I wasn't quite sure how well all the flavors would go together but when it was finished it was DELICIOUS!! (if i do say so myself). So here it is my gluten, dairy and meat free "pasta" salad.

Ingredients:
- 4 cups of vegetable broth
- 1 package of trader joes Barley
- 1 can of chickpeas
- 1 medium zucchini
- pinch of salt
- 3 TBSP olive oil
- 1/2 a lemon

1. bring the vegetable broth to a boil in a medium size pan and cook the barley for about 15-20 minutes or until almost all the broth has been absorbed into the barley.

2. while the barley is cooking cut the zucchini into strings or if you have a spiralizer (which i really really want) you can use that too. place in a bowl and sprinkle with salt. set aside for later.

3. open and drain the can of chickpeas and heat them over the stove.

4. while those are being warmed up in a small bowl mix together the olive oil and the lemon juice.

5. mix together the barley, chickpeas and the mixture of olive oil and lemon juice.

6. place in a bowl and top with the zucchini strings.

Ballerina Granola

Ingredients:
-1 cup raw pecans
-1/2 cup raw pumpkin seeds
-1/2 cup raw sunflower seeds
-2 cups gluten free quick oats
-1/2 cup dried fruit (my favorite are dried cherries)
-3/4 cup pure maple syrup
-1 stick of cinnamon
-1 vanilla bean

1. pre-heat the oven to 370 degrees

2. put the maple syrup, cinnamon stick and vanilla bean in a small pot on the stove and heat on medium for about 5 minutes.

3. mix all the other ingredients in a large bowl and pour the maple syrup over the mixture, removing the cinnamon stick and vanilla bean.

4. spread the mixture on a baking sheet and place in the oven for 20-25 minutes or until the oats are nicely toasted

5. remove from the hot pan immediately to stop the cooking so the granola doesn't burn.

Enjoy over coconut yogurt or a banana!

Change

Accept what you can't change... Change what you can't accept

Every person has something about themselves that they would love to change. For instance I would love to be shorter and skinnier but reality is I can't magically shrink and lose 30 lbs. So I must accept that but to be honest it's near impossible for me to accept that. I've been told numerous times that I'm just "to big" (those were the nice words) to be a ballerina. For a long time I was so determined to prove these haters wrong. I was going to prove that based off pure talent and passion I would make it as a ballerina. Recently though I've been told this so many times it's hard to stay positive. Of course I want to prove this person wrong who keeps telling me these things but at some point a person can only take so much. It's hard to get these negative thoughts out of my head and it's really been eating away at me. 

A few years ago I had many problems with food and self image. I would restrict my intake and workout a ton. I had rules on what I could eat and when I could eat. I knew these habits were terrible for me but once I started I couldn't stop. I was spiraling downward really quickly. I had told a friend about what was going on and connected me with a mutual friend who had been going through the same thing. Eventually I started to eat normal again and excercise less. I was content again, not necessarily happy but content. 

About a month later I started to get really sad, and I mean like lock myself in my room and cry for hours sad. There was not specific reason for being sad, it was just uncontrollable. I started to binge to comfort these feelings. Temporarily the food would mask the sadness but after the guilt was so unbearable that I would restrict the next day. It was an ongoing battle between me and food. At this point I had put on a few pounds from all the binge eating. Unhappy, sad, and bigger than I wanted to be.

So here I am today, wanting a change. Wanting to hadle my emotions and eating in a mature manner and get my life on a path of happiness. I am going to change what I can not accept about myself, But in a positive way by fueling my body with healthy, organic foods and treating myself when I'm craving it.  After much experimentation with food I found that I do best without dairy, gluten, and limited meat (only fish and a little chicken). Many of you probably think I have a mental problem if I'm cutting out this many food groups from my diet but this time I'm cutting out these food groups cause it makes me feel better, not because my ED told me I could not have these food groups. I am slowly coming to peace with myself. I know the journey will be long but it will be worth it. Being healthy and happy is something everyone craves as a human being.

Coming out of my shell

As much as I love being home and spending time with the family I have to admit I'm excited to be on my own again. I am naturally an introvert. I love being alone and am perfectly fine spending the day completely by myself. I get nervous in big groups and am not so good at meeting new people. This is something that I've slowly had to accept about myself. I always envied the girls who could walk into a party and talk to anyone. They are so confident in themselves, something I wished so badly I could have.

 I have a friend whom I admire for being so confident. It amazes me at how she can carry on a conversation with just about anyone and convince them of just about anything. I felt comfortable with her being around because I knew if I felt awkward talking to someone she would be right there to pick up the conversation for me but now that we live over 1,000 miles away from each other I've had to learn how to comunicate on my own and meet new people. It's so easy to hide in my room and watch netflix for hours or knit so many pairs of mittens my fingers feel like there about to fall off and up until this point that about all I've been doing. 

This time is going to be different though. I have a few goals that I plan to accomplish to try and spice up my life and get me out of my rut as being an unhappy person...

1. Find a job. Either at Starbucks or the local gym... I haven't decided yet.

2. Volunteer at a nursing home. I secretly love old people and think there adorable! 

3. Join a gym. Working out gives me an adrenaline rush and relaxes me when I'm stessed.

Hopefully by working towards theses goals I can come out of my shell and meet new people. I know that I will always be an introvert and choose my bed over a party but baby steps to being happier is better than no steps at all.

Audition season

It's January and as every dancer knows this is a very stressful time. This next month determines your future. Every audition must be spot on, no room for mistakes. We work so hard our entire lives giving up much of our social life growing up to train in the studio but I wouldn't have done it any other way. I love dance especially ballet and couldn't imagine my life without it. I've met so many great people through dance and it's helped me grow as a person. I owe so much to my teachers who have put so much effort into making me the dancer I am today and being home over break made me realize this even more.

So here's to all the ladies and gentlemen out there auditioning this month. Merdè to you all! 

Routine

I admit it... I'm addicted to coffee. I can't make it through a day without at least one cup of coffee. My typical morning routine consists of sleepily walking to the kitchen in the dark and flipping the switch on the coffee machine. When it's finished I add one packet of truvia and a little bit of soy coffee creamer. Every morning, without a doubt, I know my coffee is going to power me through the day. It's nice having routine. Without it my life would be complete chaos. I like routine. I love schedules. But sometimes I can get stuck in a rut, just going through the motions. I have a fear of trying new things but new things keep you on your toes and keep your mind sharp. Today I'm going to try something new, something that I usually wouldn't. I haven't decided what that will be yet but I'll post about what I did tomorrow. Today I'm going to find something that challenges my mind and body. 

How beautiful is this latte one of my friends mom made for me!? Do I dare say its better than Starbucks... 

A beautiful breakfast

Breakfast is my favorite meal of the day. I am always trying new breakfast foods and switch up my breakfast quite frequently. Today was gluten free Ezekiel bread with natural peanut butter, banana, granola and a side of fresh berries. It was delicious! 

Here goes nothing

Hello! This blog is my New Years resolution. Usually I hate New Years resolutions. I think they just set people up to fail. They'll say there gunna workout more or start eating healthy but I don't understand why you need a new year to start something new but here I am. Starting this blog. 

I actually didn't plan on making a blog or starting my pursuit of happiness until a few mornings ago when my mom wanted me to come to spin class with her. The teacher, whom I'd know prior to the class, was one of the coolest and most inspirational people I've ever met. I always tell me mom that I hope I'm as cool as her when I'm older. That got me thinking, what is it about her that makes her appealing to me as a person? What is it about her that makes an entire room light up when she enters it? It's that she is so comfortable in her own skin. She genuinely loves herself which makes it easy for her to love others around her. She's happy. She's what I like to call a "glass half-full" type. Always looking at the positive side if things. Now me on the other hand am completely opposite. I am naturally a very negative person. I tend to be very realistic about things which isn't necessarily a bad thing but my negativity can sometimes get in the way of loving myself and the people around me. 

So this year I am on the pursuit of happiness. I want to find peace with my body, my mind and with others to create a less stressful life. This will be my journey of finding myself and hopefully I can inspire others to do the same. This is my pursuit of happiness.